the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
