Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i think i have two assholes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
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