Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Banned from zoo.
Again?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize