He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
