I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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