Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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