The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
