yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize