Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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