have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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