I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
