We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
