Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
