in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
