I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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