hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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