At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
