You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I can't turn off my feet"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
