its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
