Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
