When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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