I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
