there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
