She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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