Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
