dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
not ubering you a puppy
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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