i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
