He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
