Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
