There was a lot of him and a little penis
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
