worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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