batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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