Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
