Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
