Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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