He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
