It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
