My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize