Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
