You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
