Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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