I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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