Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
