Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
