Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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