All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Screwed.edu
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I touched a dick in church today
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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