so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
