ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
