I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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