I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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