I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
