How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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