Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize