I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my shit smells like andre
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
