if you like me you must not know who I am
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
