i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
