Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
