I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
