When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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