It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
