I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They took my balls.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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