Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
