Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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