it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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