ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
